Alzheimer's disease is death before death, and I'm terrified of it. — Joey Comeau Alzheimer Copy Share Image
“Live for today, you retarded little shit. The end is near.” — Joey Comeau End is near Copy Share Image
I never wanted anything to happen to my parents, but a hero needs an origin story. — Joey Comeau Happens Copy Share Image
“I break into heterosexual houses so I can masturbate in their heterosexual kitchens” — Joey Comeau Heteronormativity Copy Share Image
“I can't believe he stabbed the guy. Eight years old. I'm the most irresponsible kidnapper ever.” — Joey Comeau Funny Copy Share Image
Death is not the end. Death is an ocean on all sides of our lives. Deep and dark and cold, and anything… — Joey Comeau Chaos Copy Share Image
I have a form of ESP that allows me to consistently pick losing lottery numbers, and generally make poor life choices. — Joey Comeau Choices Copy Share Image
Depression is like slashing at ghosts. Of course it's tempting to finally cut something real. — Joey Comeau Chaos Copy Share Image
“We'll wake up every day and we'll tell ourselves, "Live for today, you retarded little shit. The end is near.” — Joey Comeau End is near Copy Share Image
And when our sun explodes and we are all destroyed, we'll be rocks and chunks of I am not sure what, and… — Joey Comeau Not sure Copy Share Image
“Wait, wait, wait,” he said, and everyone stopped to listen. “This is about those children I murdered, isn’t it?” He laughed. “Listen,”… — Joey Comeau Children Copy Share Image
“She wears glasses that are not too small. I wish I was a girl like that. I wear contact lenses because glasses… — Joey Comeau Contact lenses Copy Share Image
When the end comes, I hope it’s as strange as that. I hope that the sky tears open and the world is… — Joey Comeau Color Copy Share Image
I don't fall in love very easily. It takes a long time, and then, when I have fallen in love, I'm still… — Joey Comeau Don't fall in love Copy Share Image
Satellite images, maps and blueprints of the whole world, of every city. We could look it up and know what's there in… — Joey Comeau Blueprints Copy Share Image
“She needs you, Dad," Julia says. "She has unfinished business in this world." "What is the matter with you?" Charlie asks his… — Joey Comeau Business Copy Share Image
“There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible… — Joey Comeau Bible Copy Share Image
Dear Nintendo, We need a new Mario game, where you rescue the princess in the first ten minutes, and for the rest… — Joey Comeau Bedroom Copy Share Image
“I'm not really like a cop at all. I haven't got any actual authority. If someone does show up to do anything… — Joey Comeau Scarecrow Copy Share Image
“Monogamy is defined by what it is not, just as much as by what it is," I say, "We couldn't have monogamy… — Joey Comeau Without u Copy Share Image
“I think it would be cool if we wore suits while we committed these violent acts of retribution. Not fancy suits. No.… — Joey Comeau Humor Copy Share Image
“I love those dark moments in Peanuts. I love that they're in there, that Charles Schulz put the sad lonely bits of… — Joey Comeau Comic Copy Share Image
Judge if you want, we are all going to die. I intend to deserve it. — Joey Comeau Death Copy Share Image
“There is no subtle way to mention you miss the curve of someone’s ass. ” — Joey Comeau Curve Copy Share Image
“Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.” — Joey Comeau Fire Copy Share Image
