“Wait, wait, wait,” he said, and everyone stopped to listen. “This is about those children I murdered, isn’t it?” He laughed. “Listen,”… — Joey Comeau Children Copy Share Image
“I can't believe he stabbed the guy. Eight years old. I'm the most irresponsible kidnapper ever.” — Joey Comeau Funny Copy Share Image
“I love those dark moments in Peanuts. I love that they're in there, that Charles Schulz put the sad lonely bits of… — Joey Comeau Daffy duck Copy Share Image
Alzheimer's disease is death before death, and I'm terrified of it. — Joey Comeau Alzheimer Copy Share Image
“Monogamy is defined by what it is not, just as much as by what it is," I say, "We couldn't have monogamy… — Joey Comeau Without u Copy Share Image
I don't fall in love very easily. It takes a long time, and then, when I have fallen in love, I'm still… — Joey Comeau Don't fall in love Copy Share Image
“I think it would be cool if we wore suits while we committed these violent acts of retribution. Not fancy suits. No.… — Joey Comeau Humor Copy Share Image
Judge if you want, we are all going to die. I intend to deserve it. — Joey Comeau Deserve Copy Share Image
“Oh, thank goodness you’re here,” the priest said. “I think this poor boy tried to kill himself with a sledgehammer.” — Joey Comeau Thank goodness Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty. I am gonna drink it through this crazy straw. — Joey Comeau Crazy Copy Share Image
“Wait," I say. "Aren't soulmates supposed to be perfect? What if you find yours and shes not a virgin, not even a… — Joey Comeau Perfect Copy Share Image
I've always known I'd be a bank robber. So judge all you want, ladies and gentlemen. Because you never did become an… — Joey Comeau Astronaut Copy Share Image
“I hope that you are a disaster. I'm sorry, but I do. I hope that you are thunder and lightning. I hope… — Joey Comeau Thunder and lightning Copy Share Image
Art isn't just paint and music, art is breaking glass and the sounds we make without realizing. — Joey Comeau Art Copy Share Image
Happiness is not a house where you can live. (But it is a house you can build.) — Joey Comeau Chaos Copy Share Image
Home is where the heart is, until we get a chance to bury it. Home is where the heart pulled the nails… — Joey Comeau Chance Copy Share Image
“Hello, there should be more advice about dealing with depression when you're stupid and worthless, so here is a self help exercise.… — Joey Comeau Depression Copy Share Image
I live to feel her fingers move inside of me like this. The bus makes another stop. A fat man climbs aboard,… — Joey Comeau Bus Copy Share Image
“I want something from her, but I don’t know what it is. I guess that means sex. ” — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
Having all the answers just means you've been asking boring questions. — Joey Comeau Answers Copy Share Image
I don't know what you believe in. I believe we just stop. Because if we move on to an afterlife, any kind… — Joey Comeau Afterlife Copy Share Image
