Bigs Quote by Mike Harding

“In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog, whichever was handy. If you stole a dog and were caught, you were punished with twelve rabbit punches, although it was hard to find rabbits big enough or strong enough to punch you.”

Mike Harding

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If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

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Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind.

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He once had his toes amputated so he could stand closer to the bar.

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... The Anarchists' [national] anthem is an international anthem that consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune of Camptown…

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British Israelites: The British Israelites believe the white Anglo-Saxons of Britain to be descended from the ten lost tribes of Israel deported by Sargon of Assyria on the fall of Sumeria in 721 B.C. ... They further believe that the future can be foretold by the measurements of the Great Pyramid, which probably means it will be big and yellow…

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The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for hilarious civic…

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Gold, n.: A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution. It is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it…

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If forced to travel on an airplane, try and get in the cabin with the Captain, so you can keep an eye on him…

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Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled.

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Economics, n.: Economics is the study of the value and meaning of J. K. Galbraith ...

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