“If a wizard should take up residence in your garden, and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.” — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
Infiniti ads are part of an exciting new trend called "Advertising Whose Sole Purpose Is to Irritate You." — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
When life hands you lemons, squirt the juice in your eye..the stinging sensation will stop your whining. . . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers. — Judith Martin Copy Share Image
I take full responsability...for what we did. It was the right thing to do. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
When audience expect only humorous roles from me, my roles will become cliche and predictable. — Biju Menon Copy Share Image
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“In my experience, the romance novels written about BDSM have about as much in common with actual BDSM relationships as a child… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“We are a bed business, and a coffee-room business. We are not a general dining business, nor do we wish it. In… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I am in the prime of my womanhood, nunga-nungas poised and trembling (attractively). Lips puckered up and in peak condition for a… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
“Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway. 'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a… — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor Copy Share Image
America is a nation of 270 million people: 100 million of them are gangsters, another 100 million are hustlers, 50 million are… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“Cayl replies...I understand the human reproductive system, Agent Denning; I’m here to capture a killer, not indulge in these intrusive human senses.” — Tielle St. Clare Copy Share Image
“They'd paid some madman who thought he was a decorator a lot of money to make the place look hip and unique.… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
I think the definition of someone who's still a swinger is a person who remains signed up on swinger websites because they're… — Emily Yoffe Copy Share Image
A sexual athlete is not likely to find sufficient energy for work of another athletic kind, and the acting of great parts… — Laurence Olivier Copy Share Image
“In truth, he had always considered the sight of men eating croissants slightly ridiculous, especially at the beginning, when for the first… — Gish Jen Copy Share Image
“Let me guess," Brynn said from across the room. "Another brother, right?" Keegan glanced at Brynn, who was staring at Ronin with… — Rosalie Lario Copy Share Image
“If only, I thought, I could talk to Eugene just one more time. This was before I came to understand that you… — Patricia Marx Copy Share Image
“After that, he drank all the rest of the sherry, and Mr. Hubble drank the port, and the two talked (which I… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Exactly. She does not shine as a wife even in her own account of what occurred. I am not a whole-souled admirer… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“Basic research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I am doing.” — Wernher Von Braun Copy Share Image
“There was not a lot of room for someone like me, who kept the gossip mill running like a hamster wheel.” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect. — Mae West Copy Share Image
Haters are just confused admirers because they can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you. — Jeffree Star Copy Share Image
I pledge that I have no intention of raising taxes in my second term. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
“If we have to, we can all go to Hell together—maybe there's a group rate.” — Spider Robinson Copy Share Image
The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters. — Rich Hall Copy Share Image
“Writing is my passion, not my job. I need to write as much as I need to breathe, if not more.” — A.E. Croft Copy Share Image
Have you ever had one of those days, when you're holding a stick and everybody looks like a pinnate? — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
Cultivate a sense of humour. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good. — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“My gramps is a lot like you. No sense of adventure. All he does is sit in his urn...” — Cleo Peitsche Copy Share Image
“Yesterday is a pile of rubble. Today is a pile of opportunity. Life takes a new dump each morning” — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
“Spanish was weird that way: two words for monkeys, and esposas meant both wives and handcuffs. That said a lot.” — Ann Aguirre Copy Share Image
“Unrequited love is a billion times less intolerable than unrequited hate.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
