We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . . — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
We thought there was also something that was humorous but at the same time powerful and deep about naming the album, 'Modern… — Rostam Batmanglij Copy Share Image
The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We need time to relax and enjoy ourselves too, no matter how dark the story. The occasional humorous moment helps with that.… — Patrick Rothfuss Copy Share Image
“There were two books I remember changing my life as a introverted, bookish 14 year old. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and… — Christopher Odell Homsley Copy Share Image
Retain a calm heart, sit like a turtle, walk swiftly like a pigeon, and sleep like a dog — Li Ching-Yuen Copy Share Image
“See? That’s it,” he said, waving his hand. “That’s part of what makes us so great, Luce. I’m crazy. You’re crazy. Together,… — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
“Oh, that's just Thud! That's easy!" yapped a voice. Both men turned to look at Horsefry, who had been made perky by… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie. — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
I believe in the truth of fairy-tales more than I believe in the truth in the newspaper. — Lotte Reiniger Copy Share Image
Manage by objectives. Tell people exactly what you want them to do and then get out of their way. — Brian Tracy Copy Share Image
I tend to do stuff that is in some way tongue in cheek or humorous or has a kind of wry side… — Alice Levine Copy Share Image
The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying, "The trouble with this country is...." — Sinclair Lewis Copy Share Image
Learn to help people with more than just their jobs: help them with their lives. — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
I'd rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort. — J. Paul Getty Copy Share Image
Mary's mouth cost her nothing for she never opens it but at others' expense. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine… — Michael Jackson Copy Share Image
“I would never have broken up with you," I said earnestly. "I'm more miserable without you than I am with you." As… — Sean Kennedy Copy Share Image
For Breakfast I like my coffee warm and cozy and my eggs funny side up. — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
constituted a critical lapse in judgement and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely responsable — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
