Abigail Barnette

“But the best part of catching Neil in the shower was, hands down, the loud, awful singing.”

— Abigail Barnette

“Every time I thought the bag must be empty, he brought yet another item out. It was like he'd hijacked Mary Poppins's…

— Abigail Barnette

“The cancer bubble. It's almost like he's not here. Like he's on pause, and my life with him is on pause, and…

— Abigail Barnette

“Money does not guarantee immortality.”

— Abigail Barnette

“It was like he'd sprung fully-formed from my eighteen-year-old fantasies, the hot History teacher who just couldn't help himself.”

— Abigail Barnette

“I know I'm not supposed to argue with you when you talk about dying. And yes, you could die, Neil. But I…

— Abigail Barnette

“You don't want to get in that line...it's fucking long”

— Abigail Barnette

“Yes, one of the benefits of being embarrassingly rich is that you find out if you have syphilis much earlier than the…

— Abigail Barnette

“I could only imagine the prenup I'd have to sign: In the event of a divorce, Mrs. Scaife- Elwood will receive eleventy-…

— Abigail Barnette

“You don't know what you're going to do in a situation until faced with it. Life lesion learned. I was going to…

— Abigail Barnette

“Well, at least you'll get some down time to heal up before the chemo. Of course, that sounds kind of like in…

— Abigail Barnette

“Call me old fashioned, but I kind of enjoy the so-called 'walk of shame.' It's really more a 'walk of pride because…

— Abigail Barnette

“Submission was such a nice mini-vacation, in that respect, a pleasure cruise through sex with heightened senses and emotions, and no thought…

— Abigail Barnette