For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The report on climate change said that humans are very likely making the planet warmer. To which Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, can't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush said the other day the war is not about timetables. It's about winning. Hey, it worked in Florida. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Political experts are saying the reason John Kerry is doing so well is because he's 'electable.' Hey, so was Al Gore -… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shut… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. ... He might have to give his Blackberry… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat rooms. I can see why: you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Last night, we had the first gubernatorial debate. Some people are criticizing Schwarzenegger for not going. They say Arnold goes around telling… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In an unlikely pairing, Hillary Clinton made an appearance this week with Newt Gingrich to push a health care plan. The press… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Have you seen the cover of Newsweek? They have Martha Stewart on the cover, but it's not actually Martha. It's a doctored… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The CEO of The Cheesecake Factory is now warning that Obamacare will be very costly. Hey, The Cheesecake Factory is one of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
General Wesley Clark commented on Gore endorsing Howard Dean. He said endorsements don't win elections. Hey, in this country, votes don't even… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Governor Gray Davis has asked the California state Supreme Court to delay the October recall vote because he says that's not enough… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The CEO of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, married one of the Enron secretaries this week. It's amazing how romantic these Enron guys can… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
