The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone. Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don`t understand a belief that there is an invisible being in the sky who watches over us all the time and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you're reading it in a book, folks, it ain't self-help. It's help. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
