Kindness : I never will understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
1.Morning Routine: 1. Wake Up 2. Check phone for messages 3. Check Facebook for any notifications. — Becca Copy Share Image
Your the type of person who walks up while I'm cutting grass and ask what I'm doing? Bitch I'm cutting grass ... — Lonniedagreat Copy Share Image
Women may be able to fake an orgasm, but men can fake a whole relationship — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny when someone breaks an awkward silence by saying 'that was an awkward silence.' — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I feel like getting some work done, so I'm going to sit here until the feeling passes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your mother compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Okay fat girls it's called plenty of fish not plenty of whales, and don't take pictures of your face and boobs we… — Mitchell Sakundiak Copy Share Image
Putting on jeans: Left leg, right leg, wiggle, jump, done! Who else does this? ;] — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
The past can haunt you, but so can ghosts. The future can be unpredictable, but so can the stock market. So the… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Spiders are nature's perverts... Why else are they found in the bathrooms? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Bullying is to love those who hate. You cannot fight fire with fire. kill the haters with kindness. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is 2.5 inches long and can satisfy a woman every-time? A credit card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't understand how girls could be so in love with a guy one week and the next not even talk to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Halloween: Is one night of the year when all households save the most on their electricity bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll never know a person's true strength until you try to steal their blanket in the middle of the night. — Anurag Prakash Ray Copy Share Image
A man post a status onto his wall, ''tonight I'm gonna sleep in terrace'' 55 mosquitos likes — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know why the US can't find Osama Bin Laden? They're using the wrong agency to look for him. Don't send the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Well I Was Shopping For A New Car Which One's Me, A Cool Convertible Or A S.U.V. To Bad I Didn't Know… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My cock got caught in my zipper today....at least that's what I'm telling my wife when she sees the teeth marks on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BITCH I'LL BURN THIS MOTHER FUCKER TO THE GROUND NOW WHERE IS IT? Sir, calm down, your toy is under the McNuggets. — Jerett Parker Copy Share Image