I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think the woman who invented the phrase 'All Men Are The Same' was a chinese woman who lost her husband in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Friday to all my loyal friends and to all you backstabbing, two faced, fake friends I hope karma bitch slaps you! — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
Sometimes you stop talking to someone because you keep telling yourself that if they wanted to talk to you, they would. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They always say so many people die of Alcohol. Perhaps they never realized many of them were born beacuse of Alcohol!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Critics are the biggest haters, movie critics I'd love to read your script, Food critics I'd love to taste your recipe. — GuyCode Copy Share Image
I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits so when you add someone it'll say 'You are now friends with benefits!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So is it wrong that I only accept people's request when they are loged off? Just in case there ugly..i can delete… — Syoung Copy Share Image
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Apparently twilight is so popular because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah I remember the time when I was a vampire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your friends and family are singing happy birthday and you are just standing there smiling .... — Me Copy Share Image
I LOVE EVERYONE...SOME I LOVE TO BE AROUND, SOME I LOVE TO AVOID...AND SOME I WOULD LOVE TO PUNCH ON THEIR FACE...!!… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
About 90% of the high scores in mobile games are made either in the toilet or in a lecture or while preparing… — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days right the time you are born until you fall in love. — Richie Copy Share Image
Ghetto word of the Day - Disappointment. My Parole officer said if I miss disappointment they gone send me back to Jail. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always lock my front door before I get in the shower 'cause if a killer broke in & heard me singing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wondering why logging onto Face book has become part of the everyday routine?.... Do I really have nothing better to do! — Serenity Karma Copy Share Image
Obama's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches.' Romney's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches assuming that bitch can afford healthcare.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No, I don't stop the microwave at 0:01 to feel like a bomb defuser...I stop it because I hate the f*cking beeping… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hats off to the courage of Internet Explorer when it asks Would you like to make Internet Explorer your default browser? — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
So first it was The end of the world now it's zombie appocalypse,What's next? Dinosaurs are going to rise up and eat… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just when you think your life is bad, just remember some where some fat kid lost his Twinkie.. that was the last… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone comments on a really old picture and you realize they were probably stalking your page. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Inside an EXAMINATION HALL I think myrself I am AN intelligent,but when result comes out MY intelligences are far apart. — Subhananda Copy Share Image
I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If God dwells inside of us like people say, I sure hope he's in themodd for Enchiladas, because that's what he's getting — Toni Watson Copy Share Image
My wife just told me, You're fucking idiot considering as she's the only woman I love, then yes, it's a fair assumption. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
A wise man once said... relationships are like jacking off.... no doubt, they're amazing.. but they always end in a mess. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mark Zuckerberg was the owner of the Facebook Steve Jobs was the owner of Dell AND I was the owner of right… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange that a group of very intelligent individuals combined into a political party become collectively stupid? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Person: So what are you going to be for Halloween? You: Well I was wondering if I could borrow the mask youre… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Welcome to facebook, where you can stalk your exes, freak out your frends, and go from normal to bi polor in 30 secounds! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
