Funny facebook status Quote by Anonymous

As Secretary of Housing, I do have to express alarm, signal the alarm if you will, that the potential for homelessness to grow is…

— Henry Cisneros

“Overhead, the glass envelope of the Insomnia Balloon is malfunctioning. It blinks on and off at arrhythmic intervals, making the world go gray:black, gray:black.…

— Karen Russell

Sleep is my drug, my bed is the dealer, and my alarm is the police!

— Ms95

Once again, my alarm clock has runied the amazing night I had with my bed.

— Author Name

Screw alarm systems. I've seen Home Alone, I know what to do.

— Anonymous

Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.

— Anonymous

Sleeping is my drug,my bed is my dealer,and my alarm clock is the police....

— Anonymous

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is the dealer, and my alarm clock is the police..

— Mitchell Sakundiak

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

— Adam Carolla

“A blanket could be wrapped around people who’ve recently been electrocuted, because I’ll bet it’s really warm under those covers. I’ve always wanted to…

— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be reverse engineered to discover the origin of sleep. If we could figure out where sleep comes from, we’d know where…

— Jarod Kintz

If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up…

— Jack Handey