Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 18

If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...

— Anonymous

I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to "it's complicated".

— Anonymous

Why Tweet on Twitter when you can Fook on Facebook!

— Desmond Fouche

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide. lol.

— MoCHY

If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :) :o

— Mac

I used to sleep at night, but then I found facebook

— Ritu Ghatourey

LOVE, TRUE, marrying a girl, even though she hasn't a steady job

— Nikhil Saluja

Once upon a time there was a girl who no longer gave a f*ck.. The End

— Anonymous

Smart phones, smart cars, smart televisions... when are they going to start making smart people?

— Tanya Bianco

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what it goes to...

— Anonymous

Facebook is so curious,anytime I tell him what's on my mind,he still asks me that question again and again.

— Anita Cobblah

Never underestimate the power of a girl and her ability to figure shit out. It's like they're the whole entire CIA in…

— ViPham

I'll call it a smart phone the day I yell, Where's my phone?! and it answers, I'm here! Under your bed!

— Kollkid

Guys, Girls don't like it when call them names that you associate other girls with like, Babe, Hun, Darling… Etc

— Joel Taylor

To steal ideas from one person, would be plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is called research.

— Anonymous

I hate when women say that all men want from them is sex, coz that's bullshit. We want you for blowjobs too.

— Nikhil Saluja

I am done with this relationship, I declare u 'single n searching'.

— Unkown

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies

— Hussein Nishah

Relationships can end, if you stop doing what you did at the beginning.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dealing with assholes is a perfect timepass.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm organizing a baby shower for my girlfriend. She's a midget.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

— Anonymous

Window: What I hope to do when I go to Las Vegas

— Nikhil Saluja

If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved.

— Anonymous

We used to live our life with Internet and now we live in Internet with our life

— Ritu Ghatourey

I lost her at stop telling me about your funny tweets

— Nikhil Saluja

When I read a fashion magazine, I don't actually read it. I just scan..

— Anonymous

I can't take this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you're coming to my room.

— Itsme867

He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.

— Anonymous

I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan.Somebody is going to be wrong.

— Hussein Nishah

What's the WiFi password here? is the new Finally I decided to visit you

— Nikhil Saluja

If beer pong was one of the event in the Olympics, I would get gold for sure.

— Nikhil Saluja

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm glad it's finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.

— Anonymous

Just converted to a new religion. It's called idontgiveafuckism.

— Nikhil Saluja

Your manhood is not a license. Her curves are not an excuse. Challenge the stereotype.

— Nikhil Saluja

Two things a girl wants... To lose weight and eat...

— Kevin McCarty

I dont have commitment issues, I been buying the same brand of whiskey for 8 years

— Nikhil Saluja

I had a dream about you. Awwwwww. Yeah, you died.

— Francis

My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

— Nikhil Saluja