How many numbers are in the alphabet... Exactly because that's how many fucks I give! — Marcus Ybarra Copy Share Image
People say you can't live without love but I think oxygen is more important — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Everyones middle name should be, motherfuckin...try it. Doesn't it sound so great? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says Look, a dead bird. Blonde looks up in the sky, WHERE, WHERE? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you mess up a guy's hair, he thinks it's cute. But when you mess up a GIRL'S hair... I hope you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and a awkward… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: you are the most funniest and beautiful girl I have ever met. Girl: you just want to fuck me. Boy: wow.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you pick up a phone call and wish you didn't because the caller's asking for something you don't… — Saramae Copy Share Image
If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me jealous Hahahahahahahahaahahaahaahahahahahhahahahahaahahaahahaahah lmao — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture, and the hardest things to sell. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not sure how people get eaten by sharks...I mean how do you not hear the music? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If your shorts look like they're being eaten by your butt, they're not meant for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I usually try not to sound like an idiot but it's really hard because I am an idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Consider Yourself an ugly person,consider yourself a beautiful monkey. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A detective on the drug detail developed seizures. He is a narcoleptic. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The grass is greener on the other side, because that's where the dog has been shitting. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
