When I was younger, I would put my face close to a fan & talk to hear my robot voice... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This bitch always make me confuse the fuck me eyes with the fuck you eyes... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Like a good neighbor STATE FARM is there, - WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT NIGGA ? — Jacob Hadley Copy Share Image
Going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a prossitute for a hug — Zane Raymond Copy Share Image
This year, for Halloween, I'm going to dress as a character from Scooby Doo and run around taking people's masks off. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you relize you've been singing the wrong lyrics to your favorite song, when you google & read the… — Syoung Copy Share Image
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Look officer, I'm not being a smartass. All I'm sayin' is if you caught me then you were speeding too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can only hope that they divide us by… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
WAIT! a minute if people who drink alcohol are alcoholics, then I should drink Fanta, and be fantastic ! — Maggy Smexi Harris Copy Share Image
I wish I had powers so I could magically make a peperoni pizza appear in front of me along with Channing Tatum! — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
Give me some sunshine. Give me some rain. Give me another girl's number, I'm single once again. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Love Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've given up trying to escape from reality..they always find me anyway!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A man is a king, a king is a ruler. A ruler is 12 inches, still think ur a man? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Imagine that self control you must have to work in a bubble rap factory! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
English teachers tend to put more thought in the books than the author did — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I die I want someone to continue uploading my quotes, just to freak people out :) — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Hello? Hello, uh ... do you sell ladders? Sorry, you have the rung number. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate people that use their Facebook relationship status for attention. — Megan O'Kane Copy Share Image
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
