Congratulations on being the last person in the galaxy without a cell phone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sex scenes in (real) movies are always portrayed as creampies. That's pretty scandalous. — Asa Akira Copy Share Image
It's just funny how people talk so much and I just let my game speak for itself. — Liz Cambage Copy Share Image
I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was missing! — Oupa Copy Share Image
“You cannot expect a man to love you, but not because of your body or physical construction. It is like giving a… — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaagghhh!!' and everyone just stares at you.… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
'SIT AND STUDY' - This stunt is performed by experts under controlled conditions. Don't try this at home or anywhere. :P — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
“The policemen agreed they were living with a most peculiar fellow. One moment he was reading classical literature in the original French… — Ben MacIntyre Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
“Divination is turning out to be much more trouble than I could have foreseen, never having studied the subject myself.” — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
