People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player. — Sheryl Crow Copy Share Image
If you are in love-that's a good thing-that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The very relationship with the other is the relationship with the future. — Emmanuel Levinas Copy Share Image
I never thought of doing anything but comics, except maybe being a pilot. — Ernie Colon Copy Share Image
Well arent u fuckers in the real world happy .. ITS ALMOST 5 O CLOCK ... — Joey Bones Copy Share Image
It's funny when their are some people talks behind you but they don't know the truth. — Mitch Alapan Copy Share Image
While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Felicia (to Grayson) - To think Eliza truly does seem to be under the misimpression that you're capable of charm.” — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
I always think I should get on it if I want to have kids. Because once you hit thirty it can be… — Sarah Copy Share Image
I think that it's hard for vain people to be funny. I think you can look any way you want as long… — Taran Killam Copy Share Image
You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. "Put your clothes in for a wash,"… — Maureen Johnson Copy Share Image
Never KISS a lady police, She will say, hands up. Never KISS a lady doctor, She will say, Next please Always KISS… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
