I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls used to get undressed for their husbands only.. in 1995 girls started to get undressed for the money.. in 2012 girls… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
SINGLE AND (maybe if youre attractive funny and educated and/or Ryan Gosling ) READY TO MINGLE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you have a shitty job, you probably shouldn't lick your fingers at lunch time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: Yes mom, I did what you wanted me to do! *Quietly doesit before she finds out I didn't* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying my ex-girlfriend is a slut I am just saying if everyone's cock had wings she'd be a airport. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When my teacher gets pregnant? Normal people: 'Oh my God! Congratulations!' Me: 'My teacher had sex?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back....Nice ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Raising you hand for the easy questions, so the teacher won't bother you for the hard ones later. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder if my cat would think I'm too clingy if it ever saw how many of its pictures are on my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Flies only live for 24 hours,except for the ones that get into your room.Those ones magically live forever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Seeing them today… was this still that renowned Qing Jing Peak which produced countless youths full of pretentious literary airs? This whole… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The issue concerned a minor matter of etiquette: How should the president be addressed by members of Congress? While hardly an earthshaking… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm sure I'll enjoy your wedding despite not enjoying any other wedding I've ever been to. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Quick! I need a good made up superhero name! (my friends and I need them for school) I was told by someone… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you drop a coin in front of a homeless person... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she is crazy, but if her emotions were on my iPod, they would be on shuffle. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Day before the test* Whatever,I don't need to study, I got this.*Day of the test* Why do I do this to myself? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Newtons third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Microsoft Word, I'm pretty sure I spelled my name right. Sincerely, EVERYBODY WITH AN UN-COMMON NAME — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Parents catch you masturbating? Stare straight at em and finish like a boss! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Have a happy Mother's Day before your kids reach an age when they're completely jaded about Mother's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: It's awkward buying condoms. Girl: It's awkward walking around pregnant. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Before you criticize anyone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
