Just called the police on my girlfriend. She hasn't committed a crime, I just want them to come and remind her she… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Breaking Bad has taught me the hazards of bringing my porn-filled computer anywhere near a giant magnet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If eating left over pizza for breakfast is wrong, I don't wanna be right! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just want to put a banana on the floor run through the house and step on it just to see if… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Do not stand,sit,climb,or lean on zoo fences.If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick.Thank you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a pet dog, he kisses like you, his breath is like yours, he pants like you. I love him dearly… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't cry because it's over. Smile & laugh because his new girlfriend looks like a horse :D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Feel free to celebrate Boss's Day by blaming me for one of your many mistakes today. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on choosing a profile picture that doesn't qualify as softcore porn. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do single girls take advice from other single girls? That's like ray charles giving stevie wonder driving directions. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'll post quotes and pictures later, but right now I am dead tothe world from lack of sleep! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm honoring you this Boss's Day by spending only half my workday on email, social media, dating sites, and pornography. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you lose all respect for that person you use to like... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Instead of hitting the garage door button, I hit the overhead light...then sat there and waited for the door to go down.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Theres a famous saying: If 99 percent was good enough, gravity wouldnt work for 14 minutes every day. I did the calculation,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In elementary school, when you were line leader, everyone else behind you was your b*tch. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I still remember back in the day¦ when it was cool to have Rolling Backpacks — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Christmas is a time of year to sleep in, pig out, and get fat. Not to "bang everybody" — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I saw a man at the beach screaming, 'Help, shark, help!' I laughed because I knew the shark wasn't going to help… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
