Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 54

Finally, I'm done my work! *flips page* OH DAMN THERES A BACK SIDE?

— Anonymous

I'm thankful that we can soon get back to being ungrateful, disillusioned, and cynical.

— Anonymous

S.o.b.e.r.= son of a bitch everythings real.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk has to explain what he was doing to the cow.

— Anonymous

Experience is the lesson you learn right after you really need it.

— Anonymous

Happy Thanksgiving to someone I'd have no problem stomping to death on Black Friday.

— Anonymous

You're everything I've ever wanted in someone I don't want anymore.

— Anonymous

But mom what if I get kidnapped trust me they'd bring you back.

— Anonymous

Man has will, but woman has her way.

— Anonymous

When you involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and…

— Anonymous

In some cultures what I do is considered normal

— Anonymous

There are three kinds of people. Those who make it happen. Those who watch it happen. And those who don't no what…

— Anonymous

OMG, 7k , I might die ,

— Anonymous

Who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning paper?

— Anonymous

Why wear one chain? when you could use 2Chainz LOL

— Anonymous

Dear Gay Men, please stop being so much kinder, funnier and more attractive than straight men. It's depressing. Sincerely, All Single Women.

— Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked…

— Anonymous

Admin Fact 21: I'm thinking about doing a makeup tutorial sometime soon because a few ofyou asked for one. I'll post a…

— Anonymous

I'd rather steal Lady Gaga's creativity without having to go near her vagina

— Anonymous

That horrifying moment when your mom says... I need to talk to you. And u think of everything you did wrong this…

— Anonymous

Getting back with an ex is pretty much like taking a shower and putting your dirty underwear back on.

— Anonymous

I miss you like Roberto Baggio missed that penalty in the World Cup '94 final.

— Anonymous

There is no one else I would rather have a pregnancy scare with.

— Anonymous

Its Funny How One Person Can Change Everything

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when you come home from school, look in the mirror and are like, 'Did I really look like that…

— Anonymous

''Youre ugly'' Pffft, sure buddy. But that's not what my mom said.

— Anonymous

Let's discuss where to put a beach chair instead of where to put a mosque.

— Anonymous

Weekend forecast: Mostly drunk, with a chance of horny.

— Anonymous

Drunk Logic: 'She's only ugly in the face.'

— Anonymous

You can always tell a real friend: When you make a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

— Anonymous

I'm done trying. Fuck you. Fuck you. I'll probably text you tomorrow, but fuck you. (how I feel all the time..)

— Anonymous

Let us all take a moment, and be thankful that spiders can't fly.

— Anonymous

Guys. It wasn't me who posted that status. Please stop asking me. But whoever it was, please don't.

— Anonymous

I might be lost, but I'm making good time.

— Anonymous

I love how keyboard works, U and I are together , and your X is just so far away. :)

— Anonymous

You don't know a women till you've met her in court.

— Anonymous

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'

— Anonymous

Who's this Simon, and why should I do what he says?

— Anonymous

Make sure to stay in shape this winter since you may not be able to sign up for Obamacare until spring.

— Anonymous

Were always together, were one of a kind, 3 words describe us - 'partners in crime'

— Anonymous