After my first semester in law school, I'm seriously considering suing Santa for breaking and entering. I hate the holidays... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's Halloween and hopefully you people that partied last night didn't wake next to something scary this morning. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks to the catastrophic greenhouse effect, Labor Day no longer signifies the end of summer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mexican word of the day Wheelchair : Me and Juan only have one taco, but is okay, Wheelchair. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On the scale of Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many facial expressions do u have? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all of my missing socks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Those really long car rides with your family and you just blast your iPod, look out the window,and block out the world. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear spiders, if I see you outside, I will let you live. But if I see you in my house, I will… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Human Brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours for 365 days. It functions right from the time we were born and only… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I feel slighted for not being invited to your wedding that I would have totally ruined with drunken antics or not gone… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's the speed limit for sex? . . . 68, coz at 69 u have to turn around. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My daughter said she's gonna be a hoe for Halloween. I think it's cute that she likes gardening. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear hoodies & sweatpants, Thank you for being there for me. Sincerely, sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate the new facebook thing where it says when they seen your message, because I would rather think that they didn't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don't want to get involved. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you get a sweet text and you just sit there smiling at your screen like a weirdo. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate driving behind log trucks, all I can think about is Final Destination... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for getting divorced and adding to the statistical evidence I use as an excuse to avoid marriage. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That rejected feeling you get when you hold a baby and it starts to cry. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This hot guy next to me in class just fell asleep. Maybe I should fall asleep too...so I can tell my friends… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear gay men,Please stop being so much kinder,funnier, & more attractive than straight men. Its quite depressing.Sincerely, all single women — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
