Dad, I promise to one day give you grandchildren who annoy me as much as I annoyed you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry that guy who didn't want to have sex with you didn't turn out to be gay. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't like to think myself as 'Special' I like to think myself as limited edition — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love the ones who are in my life and make it amazing. I also love the ones who left my life… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being addicted to texting someone.. Then they suddenly stop texting back, & you find yourself checking your phone constantly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!?!?! Student: Are you asking me out? O_O — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Uh guys I got 2 rabbits and how do you potty train them and um how do you get them tocooperate with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes, even if its not funny, I respond 'haha' just to make them feel good. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
OMG! Wrong person! Cancel. Cancel! Cancel!! CANCEL!!!! -Message sent- Okay, KILL me now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Labor Day is a great opportunity to reflect on what you failed to accomplish this summer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me six times, The Fast and the Furious. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I have to pee. 5%-Going to pee. 95%-Telling people you have to pee. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm in a serious relationship with my WiFi. You can say we have a good...connection! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: Will you be may RAIN? Girl: Why ?? Boy: Because I Will Be your Earth Girl: Whats is the connection between… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I spent 1.5 hours cleaning this kitchen. If you mess it up... I WILL CUT YOU. <3Mom — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dont you hate it when you're texting lying down & all of a sudden ur phone decides to be ninja & slip… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thank you for praising good work, thank you for leading by example, thank you for caring about us and what we do.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, which is apart of nature and nature… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't always go for the guys who can sweep you off your feet. They can drop you on your ass just as… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm saving all of your Facebook pregnancy updates to one day give to your child to one day give to a psychologist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*Types in password* Incorrect password *Types in password again* Incorrect password ARE U FRIGGIN KIDDING ME THAT IS MY¦.-Oh..Caps Lock. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
BRB- I dont want to talk to you. LOL- I have nothing else to say. COOL- I dont care — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope the colder weather won't deter you from continuing to wear slutty summer dresses to the office. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
