Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 53

When someone makes fun of your favorite celeb, you automatically defend them without even realizing it.

— Anonymous

When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you can do is cry and walk away because everyone…

— Anonymous

Love is like a dream, but marriage is like an alarm clock!

— Anonymous

Dear Boys, if you wear a hat, prepare for it to be taken by us. Sincerely, Girls

— Anonymous

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16…

— Anonymous

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

— Anonymous

Creating a nickname for your crush that only you and your best friend know.

— Anonymous

When I want to watch a TV show with my parents past my bedtime, my mom always sends me to bed no…

— Anonymous

The best place to drink beer is at home. Or on a river bank, if the fish dont bother you.

— Anonymous

Everything is beautiful depend on the situation. A school bell sounds irritating at 9am but the same sounds melodious at 4pm.

— Anonymous

Can fat people go skinny dipping?

— Anonymous

If Google didn't exist, we'd all be screwed.

— Anonymous

Hey! Easy on the stealth suit, which apparently isn't so stealthy.

— Anonymous

There's a fine line between hugging someone and holding them down so they can't get away.

— Anonymous

I love to sing but I'm terrible! But I do it anyways

— Anonymous

I have everything now I had twenty years ago except now its all lower.

— Anonymous

I'm like 25% funny and 85% bad at math.

— Anonymous

Lf you think this page is awesome haha then you should try Keep Laughing

— Anonymous

I hope my anus and genitals roasting in 95-degree weather all day doesn't turn you off from giving me oral sex tonight.

— Anonymous

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

— Anonymous

I remember when staying up until midnight was hard to do, now it's a bad habit.

— Anonymous

Change Of plans.. I'm Not Posting a Video of Me Singing Beaucse I Sound Like a Dieing Cat..

— Anonymous

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

— Anonymous

Sluts should be called, Humpty Dumpty. First they get humped, then they get dumped..

— Anonymous

Confession. 3.) My Favorite Band Is One Direction But My Favorite SingerIs Ed Sheeran¥

— Anonymous

My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture.

— Anonymous

Ugg I wish I didn't have thick hair!

— Anonymous

People are like chocolates. Some soft centered, some hard, and some are just plain nutty.

— Anonymous

Um you're like 12, you were dumped. Your life is NOT over.

— Anonymous

Put that in your juice box and SUCK IT.

— Anonymous

Name your iPod 'Titanic', plug itinto the computer, Titanic is syncing, press cancel, feel like a hero.

— Anonymous

Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

— Anonymous

It's funny cause, you think you're the shit. You're not. You're shit.

— Anonymous

Friends: ask you why you're crying? Best friends: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

— Anonymous

“I've knitted myself a hat, it's plum red with an appealing lace pattern, I figured that a few air holes would be…

— Anonymous

Social networking is like a club. Twitter is the dance floor, tumblr is the bar and facebook is the people crying in…

— Anonymous

SHARE FOR SHARE anyone ? 1- SHARE us first 2- post that we are having an admin contest on 66,000 3- comment…

— Anonymous

As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools.

— Anonymous

For Grandparents Day, I'd like to take you to a nice restaurant that you can plunder for Sweet 'N Low packets.

— Anonymous

When girls can't take a compliment: Your so prettyNo I'm not, I'm ugly WELL SHIT, YOU UGLY THEN, DAMN

— Anonymous