May your vibrator be fully charged upon your arrival home from seeing Magic Mike. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The difference between a Normal Person and a Nerd....Nerd: I got one question wrong :(..Normal Person: I got one question right! :D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Omgz hav!n such a gewd tiem wif mai bestiez, lolzzz!..Serio íusly? Take your keyboard and bash your head into it. -___- — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The perfect man is like the Lochness Monster... they say he exists but no one's ever seen him! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have the best mommy in the whole wide world. As soon as I walk in the door she gives me this… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your time spent in Florida this winter be more fruitful than LeBron's. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The language with which I make my poems has nothing to do with one spoken here, or anywhere. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope your kids cope with the divorce well enough to serve as a prop to help get you laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I feel a profound connection to you based on the music in your shared iTunes folder. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A good college is like unprotected sex: Glad you got in, wish you never came. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
L'm barely on this page this week for a reason. I have family visiting from Atlanta. so I have only this week… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are like remote controls. It gives a man pleasure, hed be lost without it, and while he doesnt always know the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you get a text while you're walking and you start to walk slower and slower til youre just standing there texting. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on still somehow not being a mother despite your astonishing sexual promiscuity. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Allow me to summarize the heroic Jewish uprising against the banning of our religion by mumbling a prayer written in phonetic Hebrew. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It takes a minute to have a crushon someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Dora would move her big ass head out of the screen maybe we would be able too help her find her… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
College is like a woman; You work so hard to get in and nine months later you wish you'd never come. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I didn't say you were a slut...I just implied that you don't sleep in your own bed too often. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are like...Bike Helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
