Funny Quote by Anonymous

My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.

— Phyllis Diller

I got to play Santa, too. It's really important to play Santa, you know.

— Judd Nelson

I feel better knowing Santa will also be unemployed after Christmas.

— Anonymous

Most of the holiday movies I enjoy, like 'It's a Wonderful Life,' don't really involve Santa.

— George Wendt

Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.

— Scott Dikkers

If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do…

— Anonymous

Lets be naughty and save Santa the trip.

— Gary Allan

“Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It’s time for Santa to get serious.”

— Michael Diack

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.

— Gary Allan

Believe in Santa...just beclause.

— Anonymous

It is not my fault that my parents own the world's largest collection of black Santas.

— John Green

I'm not going to make a present of Santa.

— Sam Allardyce