There's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. It's never going to get… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone. Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Heroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People can't seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Ever. There is only a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/11c/george-carlin-155_clue_it-was-the-typical-paranoid-experience-t_1705921.jpg)
