If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt. — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love smells like a flower in bloom. A flower that's sitting on a pile of steaming feces.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My favorite flower is the tulip. I’m crazy like Holland about them. I’ll even pay as much as $1,637 for one.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She loves me. She must, because she left flowers in the fridge from her date. She knows how I love flower salad.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Flower coffee—less caffeinated, more romantic. I wanted to be with her, but when I was, I felt like I’d rather wither.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I think a funny picture would have a caption that read, “Believe in yourself,” with an accompanying image of a wilting flower.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The most dangerous flower is one that grows on a grave. Everybody in its vicinity is dead. That’s why I hand-picked it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I network like a salmon in a bear costume. Why swim upstream when the honeybee has all the flowers? Is anything more… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Is there anything more pathetic than a flower that doesn’t get enough sunlight and dies, because it couldn’t get out of bed… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I like movies that keep me guessing until the end. I always guess flowers, because no matter what type of movie, whether… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me F*** you. Then Ill go back to that person and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The sun is a flower, and it burns my goddamn nostrils like the scent of love, which I haven’t tasted since I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
