Fire Quotes by Jarod Kintz

14 Fire quotes by Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz distills his take on fire into fourteen concise lines, each striking a different chord—whether it’s heat, transformation, or warning. A compact but potent glimpse into his perspective.

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“I went to a fire sale. I brought a bucket of water, and boy did I make a splash.”

Jarod Kintz

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I want to do something spontaneous, like combust.

Jarod Kintz

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“My penis burns. I guess I should stop trying to put out forest fires with it.”

Jarod Kintz

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“Add smoke, not fire. You want to confuse your competition, not kill them.”

Jarod Kintz

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“If liquid courage smelled like cologne and gushed out of my penis, I’d make a better fire fighter than I’m not right…

Jarod Kintz

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“A blanket could be used to put out a fire. Unless that fire is in your heart, and you simply refuse to…

Jarod Kintz

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“My rules are as follows: don’t follow, unless there’s a fire. And in that case, follow from the front.”

Jarod Kintz

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“It’s not lit, it’s literature. Lit is something a book can be, after you’ve decided to burn it. (I suggest you start…

Jarod Kintz

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“A blanket could be used to fill the night sky with smoke, if you use it to suffocate the fire. And if…

Jarod Kintz

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“I had a dream my house was on fire, and I tried to rescue all the cats—and none of the politicians. You…

Jarod Kintz

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“A blanket could be used to smother a fire—but not the fire that burns in my heart for you. Or perhaps that’s…

Jarod Kintz

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“A fire truck is just a drivable penis. The flames of my love might engulf you, if you don’t let me park…

Jarod Kintz

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“A brick could be used to wade into dangerous territory with a man named Wade who builds houses made only of wood.…

Jarod Kintz

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“Hey, turn down the volume on your “How To Make Love Like Lucifer Hand Guide Volume II” audio book a little bit.…

Jarod Kintz

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“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”

Jarod Kintz

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“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”

Jarod Kintz

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“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…

Jarod Kintz

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“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…

Jarod Kintz

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“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”

Jarod Kintz

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“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…

Jarod Kintz

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“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”

Jarod Kintz

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“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”

Jarod Kintz

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“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”

Jarod Kintz

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“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”

Jarod Kintz

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“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…

Jarod Kintz

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“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…

Jarod Kintz

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“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”

Jarod Kintz

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“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…

Jarod Kintz

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“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”

Jarod Kintz

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