Mousse was a Labrador retriever, which is a large enthusiastic bulletproof species of dog made entirely from synthetic materials. This is the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople get ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Several months ago, out of the blue, a company named "Cingular" started sending me bills. I had never heard of Cingular, and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Of course, the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass. The laws… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful, and relentless. I… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In those days, most people read newspapers, whereas today, most people do not. What caused this change? One big factor, of course,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Now, once again, we find ourselves facing rising gas prices, and the question is: This time, are we going to learn from… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There are terrific TV shows now. This is a golden age for TV humor, I think. There's an actual market there. Of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
All these people helped make this book possible. But let me make one thing clear: If there are any errors or omissions… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
