Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
This is a crucial time in the fight for corporate civil rights. Just look at the hateful signs at Occupy Wallstreet: 'Corporations… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Throughout human history, countries rise and fall. But not America-we continue to rise and rise, like dough, until Jesus bakes us in… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
You've gotta understand what Putin's strategy is. He really doesn't like democracy. He thinks it's an inconvenient, messy process. And he doesn't… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty. People love the president because he's certain of his choices as a… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not the president.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.” — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
