“Don't miss work and never be late. Your boss will appreciate it, and he will reward you by shaking your hand in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“-The good guys are coming, boss. What do you want me to do? -Don’t just stand there, you idiot. Ram them with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can guess which car my boss drives. I’ll just look for the one with the hole in the back, like an… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“AI doesn't take any breaks. Plus, AI won't file sexual harassment charges when your boss flirts with it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My favorite smells are freshly baked bread, the pages of an old book, and they way my boss’ ass smells when he’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I gave him a pet name, even though he wasn’t my pet, he was my boss. I don’t know why he fired… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to be the boss, and have my name embossed on the corner office door.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Just because I murdered a man—my boss—doesn’t mean I deserve to be fired. In fact, as I see it and saw it,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A good server knows how to be seen, yet remain invisible. I was a great server, and I achieved invisibility by never… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Pizza as a reward at work, gotta love it. Personally, I'd rather have that than a raise. Give me a pizza, boss,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
