When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money.… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you think your odds of solving your problem are bad, don’t rule out the possibility that what is really happening is that you… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don’t let it leave until I extract that value.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Because everything you perceive is a metaphor for something your brain is not equipped to fully understand. God is as real as the clothes… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of capitalism is… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
