I hate it when a girl screams. Especially when she finds me in her closet. It's like she wants someone to hear… — Nikhil Saluja Hate Copy Share Image
Me: Haven't I seen you someplace before? She: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If people suddenly leave me or give up on me without any reasons, its their loss, not mine. — Nikhil Saluja Loss Copy Share Image
The true Strength of a Man is his ability to make a Woman better in every way.! — Nikhil Saluja Strength Copy Share Image
Nothing pisses me off more than a person who hits the joint out of turn and fucks up the rotation. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm a passionate man. I like some things and love others. Example: I like coming and I love leaving. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
Every father thinks that his son is an idiot, but only my dad is right. — Nikhil Saluja Dad Copy Share Image
I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first. — Nikhil Saluja Difference Copy Share Image
Come Late And Your Girlfriend Will Say Youre Late. Cum Late And She Will Say Youre Great! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men tend to confuse & mistake a woman's friendly behavior & interaction for flirting. — Nikhil Saluja Flirting Copy Share Image
On wall in ladies room: 'My husband follows me everywhere' Written just below it: 'I do not' — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
Love me or Hate me, either way you are thinking about me. I win, you lose, suck it! — Nikhil Saluja Hate Copy Share Image
Ways of Life : The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. — Nikhil Saluja Happiness Copy Share Image
If you can't sit in a public transport and masturbate then we can't be friends. — Nikhil Saluja Friend Copy Share Image
My biggest fear is being in a plane crash and not be able to tweet about it. — Nikhil Saluja Biggest fear Copy Share Image
I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I only drink on two occasions. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday. — Nikhil Saluja Birthday Copy Share Image
When a pretty girl says something dumb just smile at her and pet her on the top of her head. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't have anger issues, I have issues with idiots who make me angry. — Nikhil Saluja Anger Copy Share Image
Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
As kids if we had said, When I grow up I wanna browse my phone while sitting on the toilet we'd all… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I wake up everyday wishing for world peace and for women with hairy arms to do something about it. — Nikhil Saluja Peace Copy Share Image
THEY'RE going to THEIR house because you are not THERE. It's not Rocket Science. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's a certain charm, when the words Go fuck yourself roll off your tongue. Try it. — Nikhil Saluja Language Copy Share Image
The more you ask how much longer it will take, the longer the journey will seem. — Nikhil Saluja Journey Copy Share Image
The British Royal family had to be Gujjus - Nice joint family living under one roof with an old Baa who refuses… — Nikhil Saluja Family Copy Share Image
Asked an one year old what his name was and he didn't know. What a fucking idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
KISSING, While, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You'll have to excuse me if I seem a little full of myself today; my wife called my paycheck cute. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If girls came with instructions they would read: For best results shoot yourself in the face now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!' — Nikhil Saluja Fish Copy Share Image
Girls like cats because cats are assholes and girls love assholes. Its fucking science. — Nikhil Saluja Cats Copy Share Image
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're gonna tell me about something plz have proof.. If you don't have any, I don't want to hear it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea: A smart phone that doesn't receive phone calls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says trust me, you don't want to know. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
