Girls don't try to trick me with makeup. It's a waste of both our time. — Nikhil Saluja Girls Copy Share Image
Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies : Boobs are like babies; if you don't strap them properly into their carrier, they'll fall out. — Nikhil Saluja Babies Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm bored, I go to a bank, yell FREEZE! and spray people with my water gun. — Nikhil Saluja Bored Copy Share Image
A setback in life gives you an opportunity to cherish the glory inherent in a comeback to life. — Nikhil Saluja Comeback Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Therapist: you should be in a mental institute Me: I'm already on Twitter — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. — Nikhil Saluja Change Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes the appetiser is better than the main course; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is always an easy solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. — Nikhil Saluja Problem Copy Share Image
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people . If I'm not there, I go… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of the most Exciting things about Life is¦, Not knowing Whats Next.!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A surprise party is a great way to show your wife how awesome you are at lying to her face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Changed my name in my Ex's phone to Wrong Number because I'm a fucking genius. — Nikhil Saluja Wrong number Copy Share Image
Diet plan: 1. Only eat in front of the mirror. 2. Don't eat ever. — Nikhil Saluja Diet Copy Share Image
Boys, Women are easy. Tell them they're pretty. Compliment some shit. Fuck them like you hate them. Easy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate to watch people suffer. That's why I just shot the guy in the head after I ran him over. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In a parallel universe, I'm on a shitty website writing about myself in a parallel universe. — Nikhil Saluja Parallel universe Copy Share Image
We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, love the ones who hurt us & hurt the… — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I love how the 140 character limit on twitter forces girls to get to the damn point. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. — Nikhil Saluja Books Copy Share Image
Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction. — Nikhil Saluja Aging Copy Share Image
No no sweetie, I don't hate you. I just want to fist bump your chin a few times. — Nikhil Saluja Fist Copy Share Image
The impact of the word SALE on a female's brain is similar to what the word BOOBS has on a male's brain.… — Nikhil Saluja Feminism Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Amazing Home Remedies: If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I only bang chicks with a masters degree or higher. Why you ask? Cause I'm fucking genius. — Nikhil Saluja Genius Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a Caution: slippery when wet sign I hide it somewhere, then I sit down & enjoy the show. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Parents shouldn't tell their kids to dream big if they're stupid. Don't give them false hope. — Nikhil Saluja Child Copy Share Image
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go… — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Porn Rule: When a husband finds that his wife has been cheating on him, he is more turned on than angry. — Nikhil Saluja Cheating Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction; — Nikhil Saluja Attraction Copy Share Image
The only reason women need men around the house is because we haven't made a vibrator that can kill spiders. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I'm not a mind reader, so the unspoken words doesn't tell me anything at all. — Nikhil Saluja Books Copy Share Image
I'm not the best, not the most perfect but I promise to love you with my whole heart. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
When a waitress brings the food, old men look at the food while young men look at the waitress. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When you have a bunch of cash in your wallet, you'll buy anything. But the last 10$ can last an entire week.. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
