Nikhil Saluja

If you want to gather a lot of knowledge, act as if you are ignorant.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be…

— Nikhil Saluja

Just finished listening my first song of Justin Beiber. If anyone needs anything I'll be in the closet.

— Nikhil Saluja

You can't spell love without I want to jump off a fucking bridge.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I had a time machine, I would just go back to the last time I ate pizza.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't have a great sense of humor, but I do have a great sense of nonsense.

— Nikhil Saluja

I bet my relationships would be more stable if I dated non-existent people who died.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes, the only thing left to do is to let go even if it's the hardest thing to do.

— Nikhil Saluja

I still don't know how to end conversations with people, so now I just quietly hug them until they go away.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you try to be different, you are being like everyone else. Being yourself is what makes you different.

— Nikhil Saluja

Somewhere in the world there's a fat girl waiting in Mc D for her burger. This tweet is for you fat girl!

— Nikhil Saluja

Just because I walked away doesn't mean you won. It simply means your dumb ass wasn't worth another second of my time.

— Nikhil Saluja

The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together.

— Nikhil Saluja

I asked a lady on the street for directions. I know women have no sense of direction, I just wanted to look…

— Nikhil Saluja

Girls with no ass probably typed LMAO wayyyy too many times on Facebook.

— Nikhil Saluja

If she's asking, she probably knows the answer. It's probably too late to lie now.

— Nikhil Saluja

In my version of volleyball I use my legs and also don't play volleyball.

— Nikhil Saluja

Some days I cant stop thinking about you, and other days I wonder why Im wasting my time.

— Nikhil Saluja

Joan Rivers turned into one of the people she used to make fun of.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit.

— Nikhil Saluja

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love….after marriage it is self-defense.

— Nikhil Saluja

Do you know what's to blame for the population boom over the last 40 years? Fucking women who can't swallow.

— Nikhil Saluja

My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me.

— Nikhil Saluja

If God Was A Woman… Men would have a built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth

— Nikhil Saluja

It's a guy thing really means There's no rational thought pattern connected with it and you can't make it logical.

— Nikhil Saluja

Beauty is not in the face, but in the heart - Girl with big tits

— Nikhil Saluja

Hey everybody on Twitter, I think we can cool it with all the jokes.

— Nikhil Saluja

Two things I really hate: 1) People who repeat themselves 2) People who repeat themselves

— Nikhil Saluja

Always look on the bright side. Unless your bright side has Justin Beiber in it.

— Nikhil Saluja

She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.

— Nikhil Saluja

Being a Mother means that your heart is no longer yours; it wanders wherever your children go.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a girl says have fun She means have a horrible time without me. Not true... Maybe!

— Nikhil Saluja

I've never killed an unfollower but I should definitely take a shot at it.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know, you can really get wet playing games in that new Pentium-VI dishwasher.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hard work may pay off in the future but laziness pays off right now!

— Nikhil Saluja

The blonde raced across the cookie package because the instructions said, Tear along dotted line.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sign in a vegetarian restaurant: All we are saying is give peas a chance.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't waste your time giving someone a second chance, when there is someone better out there waiting for their first.

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, A great comfort during her husband's troubles -- those, that as a bachelor, he would never have had;

— Nikhil Saluja