I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Twitter: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Assumptions are those things we make when we are too lazy to check out the facts. — Nikhil Saluja Assumptions Copy Share Image
Relationship Status: Apologizing everytime for saying something hilarious. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife. — Nikhil Saluja Being silly Copy Share Image
Smart girls open their mind . Easy girls open their legs . And foolish girls open their heart. — Nikhil Saluja Foolishness Copy Share Image
Girls are a lot like the Lotto, if you're lucky you can hit the pussy jackpot when she gives you the 7 digits. — Nikhil Saluja Jackpot Copy Share Image
With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Mobile phones do not get you close to people, it just takes you away from the ones sitting next to you — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby. — Nikhil Saluja Consultant Copy Share Image
Idiots don't know they are idiots, I know I am an idiot therefore I am not an idiot ;) — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
My girlfriend got her teeth whitened the other day. Most of it went on her chin though. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think the guy next to me is gay. I'm trying to take a shit but he keeps giving me looks. I'll… — Nikhil Saluja Urinal Copy Share Image
Sometimes I get the feeling that you guys aren't thinking about my tweets all the time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
History may repeat itself, But Herstory won't ever shut the fuck up about it. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes. — Nikhil Saluja Doctor Copy Share Image
Not sure if you should cheat on your wife with the hot chick from work? Let your dick make the decision for… — Nikhil Saluja Hot chick Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Death Copy Share Image
Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall … And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch …… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You're like family to me in that I find myself drinking even more than usual when you're around. — Nikhil Saluja Drinking Copy Share Image
Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Inspirational tweet of the day: If you ever feel like you're about to do something you're going to regret later, do it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a woman puts on a low cut shirt she's basically saying she wants to win all arguments for the day. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never trust a girl that gets text from her ex. He's texting because he's getting a response from her. — Nikhil Saluja Girl Copy Share Image
A little conflicted. The guy ran into my car because he was favoriting my tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Conflicted Copy Share Image
I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The hardest decision is deciding whether to walk away or try harder. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Tweeting all your personal issues and accusing people of stalking is like getting naked on street and calling people perverts. — Nikhil Saluja Personal issues Copy Share Image
Being in the friend zone is like being a teddy bear. NOTICE that there is no penis on a teddy bear. — Nikhil Saluja Flirting Copy Share Image
All the money in the world wouldn't make me happy because all of my poor loser friends would be asking to borrow… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of people in this world: 1)Those who don't believe in horoscopes 2)Morons — Nikhil Saluja Horoscopes Copy Share Image
A picture can speak a thousand words. A photoshoped picture speaks a thousand lies. — Nikhil Saluja Language Copy Share Image
I dont see the glass as half-empty. I see the glass as being a horrible person. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you don't want to be treated like shit then stand up for yourself. Stop complaining and do something about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
