When a pretty girl says something dumb just smile at her and pet her on the top of her head. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I only drink on two occasions. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday. — Nikhil Saluja Birthday Copy Share Image
I don't have anger issues, I have issues with idiots who make me angry. — Nikhil Saluja Anger Copy Share Image
As kids if we had said, When I grow up I wanna browse my phone while sitting on the toilet we'd all… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I wake up everyday wishing for world peace and for women with hairy arms to do something about it. — Nikhil Saluja Peace Copy Share Image
Me: Haven't I seen you someplace before? She: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when a girl screams. Especially when she finds me in her closet. It's like she wants someone to hear… — Nikhil Saluja Hate Copy Share Image
I'm so homophobic I won't even fart in front of a gay man...just in case he thinks its an invitation! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The true Strength of a Man is his ability to make a Woman better in every way.! — Nikhil Saluja Strength Copy Share Image
If people suddenly leave me or give up on me without any reasons, its their loss, not mine. — Nikhil Saluja Loss Copy Share Image
Nothing pisses me off more than a person who hits the joint out of turn and fucks up the rotation. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm a passionate man. I like some things and love others. Example: I like coming and I love leaving. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
Every father thinks that his son is an idiot, but only my dad is right. — Nikhil Saluja Dad Copy Share Image
I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first. — Nikhil Saluja Difference Copy Share Image
Come Late And Your Girlfriend Will Say Youre Late. Cum Late And She Will Say Youre Great! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men tend to confuse & mistake a woman's friendly behavior & interaction for flirting. — Nikhil Saluja Flirting Copy Share Image
On wall in ladies room: 'My husband follows me everywhere' Written just below it: 'I do not' — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
Love me or Hate me, either way you are thinking about me. I win, you lose, suck it! — Nikhil Saluja Hate Copy Share Image
If you can't sit in a public transport and masturbate then we can't be friends. — Nikhil Saluja Friend Copy Share Image
Ways of Life : The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. — Nikhil Saluja Happiness Copy Share Image
I couldn't find a place that sells honey. I guess it just wasn't meant to Bee. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hey! *2 hours later* Whats up No its too late. I don't want to talk to you anymore. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I type lol it means I blew air out my nose harder than usual don't get too fucking excited — Nikhil Saluja Comedy Copy Share Image
PRAISE, Something which, if directed to your wife, will lighten your marriage -- even if it frightens her at first. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Love hurts...especially when you're gay and you've fallen in love with a black man. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just because I like fucking in the morning doesn't mean that I'm a fucking morning person. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
The best game I've ever played was a baseball game where the bat was a sword and the ball was someone's neck. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Math: 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If zombies ever take over I want to be prepared with a survival kit that includes a pizza. — Nikhil Saluja Pizza Copy Share Image
My doctor says I should drink 8 glasses of water a day. I wonder how many beers is that equivalent to. — Nikhil Saluja Beers Copy Share Image
Missing someone is part of loving them. Not until you are apart do you realize how much they mean to you. — Nikhil Saluja Being in love Copy Share Image
I dream of the day when I meet a girl who looks similar to the girl she has on her avi. — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
Homeless people give the best advice, everything they say always makes a lot of cents. — Nikhil Saluja Best advice Copy Share Image
When it comes to women, sex is a lot like food. The fat ones appreciate it more. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a Lizard. Just so I can finally hear a women say Oh… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
It's fun to wink at strangers when they're eating a banana to see their reaction until one of them winks back. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
