Dear Brain, can you please shut the fuck up so I can sleep? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I finally found it: Facebook is the family den. Twitter is the shed out back. — Nikhil Saluja Family Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Beauty Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch porno's again? — Nikhil Saluja Porno Copy Share Image
I had a feeling that someone was following me around all day, then I figured out that it was just my butt! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Rumors are a lot like buttcheeks because once you spread them, someone's ass is about to get hurt. — Nikhil Saluja Rumor Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BEST INVENTION EVER: the Fast Forward Button. Without it we would be stuck watching the first two minutes of porn. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Two things in life that are difficult to achieve: 1. To plant your idea in someone's head. 2. To plant someone's money… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a ritual which should be written (o cut down on divorces) -- by adding a line to the groom's questions… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance Bad girls think no place is the wrong place… — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
The problem with being just friends is I have to watch you be with someone who doesn't deserve you when I could… — Nikhil Saluja Friends Copy Share Image
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and… — Nikhil Saluja Beer Copy Share Image
If shes amazing, she wont be easy. If shes easy, she wont be amazing. If shes worth it, you wont give up.… — Nikhil Saluja Amazing Copy Share Image
Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day, but give a man an empty house and a hand… — Nikhil Saluja Fish Copy Share Image
Still waiting for a reply from twitter on adding a Stab button. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
