I just met a girl named Karma. She was actually really sweet. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If you're the one who judges someone reading them, you're an asshole for not inviting me for beer so we can do… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What was the first tweet of twitter? Probably about assholes coming soon. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They say that you make a first impression after the first 7 seconds. To avoid this, I always show up 7 seconds late. — Nikhil Saluja First impression Copy Share Image
You guys, some things are worth dying for like family and unprotected left turns. — Nikhil Saluja Death Copy Share Image
It's bullshit that I have to wait for a special occasion to eat cake. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When people ask what I did in my 20s, I say Manual Twitter. Its just stalking hot girls on roads & commenting… — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
FACEBOOK: The only place where you can have a MILLION siblings! Their mothers must be Sluts! — Nikhil Saluja Brotherhood Copy Share Image
No, leave that bra on. 'Coz I'm gonna fuck your boobies right out of it. is a romantic thing to say right… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think I might vote for Barack Obama. Because I live in New York City and have been giving black guys change… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I took nine years of French, but I can't remember any of it. I realized on the plane ride over that if… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Sorry, your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of… — Nikhil Saluja Alphabet Copy Share Image
Here's my idea for another one of those reality-based TV shows: No Survivors! One by one, a psychopathic serial killer tracks down… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
At a point in my life where I want to masturbate to a friend's Facebook photos but I keep getting distracted by… — Nikhil Saluja Friendship Copy Share Image
I woke up this morning at 10 and sensed something was wrong. I went downstairs and found my wife face down on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you say you're in a bad place, and everything is coming your way, then chances are you're a woman, and you're… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I like my sex like I like my tweets, Forced and meaningless. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
Whoever said there is a solution to every problem wasn't ugly. — Nikhil Saluja Problem Copy Share Image
