Dear Brain, can you please shut the fuck up so I can sleep? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I masturbate to a microwave timer just for the excitement of a buzzer beater. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you love somebody let them go. Just make sure you install a tracking device in their ass first. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If Men Got Pregnant: Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree. — Nikhil Saluja Ice cream Copy Share Image
I hate when girls say You probably say that to 100 girls. Don't you use the same résumé when applying for jobs? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Honey, please help me find a match for this sock. What for? Are you going to set it on fire? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My mom at night: Goodnight my love, sweet dreams. In the morning: WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SHIT — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
Following twitter celebrities is exactly like realizing that the pretty girl talking to you works for playboy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Here is a strategy; Follow someone, they follow you back, you unfollow them. -A douchebag with mental issues on Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, WISE, one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
DEMOCRACY You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay… — Nikhil Saluja Democracy Copy Share Image
I still remember how we started talking, I trusted you with things I would have never trusted anyone else with, and then… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know why the US can't find Osama Bin Laden? They're using the wrong agency to look for him. Don't send the… — Nikhil Saluja Army navy Copy Share Image
Girls don't dress up to impress guys. Girls dress up to out dress other girls. If they wanted to impress guys, they… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I eat all kinds of pussy just in case some jerk hacks my Twitter and says I eat all kinds of pussy… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm going to do my best for you. I'm gonna fight for you. And if in the end you won't love me,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
God Thought That He Couldn't Be Everywhere He Made A MOTHER. The Devil Thought That He Couldn't Be Everywhere He Made A… — Nikhil Saluja Devil Copy Share Image
