“It’s interesting to watch someone think. Glass skulls would be cool.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Between was and is you’ll find me—but most of the time you’ll only find me in pictures.” — Jarod Kintz Photography Copy Share Image
“You don’t have to visit an asylum to see insanity. All you have to do is visit Washington DC.” — Jarod Kintz Asylum Copy Share Image
“I spilled semen everywhere. No wonder the world is overpopulated. ” — Jarod Kintz Semen Copy Share Image
“Who art thou, Art? Do you make art the way I make love—with a paintbrush?” — Jarod Kintz Artist Copy Share Image
“I’m building a building from scratch, and I’m making it out of a giant itch.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If love existed an octave above where your vocal range ended, would you buy a dog whistle to… — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“Courage comes in many forms. One of them is the ability to run at high speeds while wearing adult diapers.” — Jarod Kintz Courage Copy Share Image
“My drug of choice is love. Sure, I’ve tried other drugs, but no other drug gets both the dealer and user high… — Jarod Kintz Drug Copy Share Image
“Two mustaches walk into a bar, and the bartender said, “Can I get you a drink?” Both mustaches turned towards each other… — Jarod Kintz Mustaches Copy Share Image
“Women won’t sleep with me for the same reason that I don’t pay for sex—I don’t have any money. And if I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Women glance at hands like men stare at asses. Why do you think attractive men are called handsome?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A great band name would be Tickling Whiskers. Especially if the lead singer is a cat. I’d love to audition for backup… — Jarod Kintz Cat love Copy Share Image
“I would have fought the forest fire, but it was a dragon-breathing forest fire, and I forgot my sword, my pen, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are two apples, one is green and the other is red. Which apple would the wise man choose? The answer is:… — Jarod Kintz Wisdom Copy Share Image
“As a thinker, and most writers would consider themselves thinkers, your competition is not only the whole world, but it’s also the… — Jarod Kintz Thinkers Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You took control of my body and forced me to have sex with you. Then you… — Jarod Kintz Dream Copy Share Image
“I applied for an overnight stocking position at a supermarket, but I didn’t get the job. It probably went to somebody the… — Jarod Kintz Management Copy Share Image
“The glove compartment of my car is empty, but one of these days, I’m going to fill it with an assortment of… — Jarod Kintz Boxing gloves Copy Share Image
“Her boyfriend can’t hold a candle to me. Especially not while I’m holding the strobe light. It’s hard to do modern dancing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The living have love for the dead, but the dead have no love for the living. I ought to know, because I’d… — Jarod Kintz Food Copy Share Image
“The growth of my business was amazing. Unfortunately, it grew like a tumor and not like a tree. I really needed to… — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“My date couldn’t make it to dinner, because at the last minute I backed down from asking her.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I refuse to answer the phone, especially when it’s not questioning (ringing).” — Jarod Kintz Questioning Copy Share Image
“I didn’t get your letter. I did receive it, but I didn’t understand it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I always buckle up, even if I’m only walking across the parking lot.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to open up a School of Cannibalism. It’ll be a feeder school for top law schools.” — Jarod Kintz Cannibalism Copy Share Image
“If you won’t turn your back to face me, then I won’t even bother stabbing you.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m more terrified of failure than rejection—so I’ll no my way to YES!” — Jarod Kintz Failure Copy Share Image
“Teamwork: I love the idea of all for one—especially if that one is me.” — Jarod Kintz Idea Copy Share Image
“It’s not if, but when I’ll if on you that matters. How does Tuesday at noon sound?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a flotation device, if you’re Michael Phelps and don’t need it. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
