“Why are you fighting like this? You're acting like Reece and Ridley.” — Kami Garcia Copy Share Image
“You wanna know how to make God laugh?” he said. “Tell him your plans.” — Tiffanie DeBartolo Copy Share Image
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“Then Mal let out a wailing noise. 'I hate it when mommy and daddy fight!” — Kylie Scott Copy Share Image
I am not a trained writer and I don't think anyone would accuse me of being a funny person. But I feel… — Vantile Whitfield Copy Share Image
“she never even wore stockings; just those bullet proof tights that you see on old maids.” — Poppet Copy Share Image
“Thank God she doesn't have to be confirmed by the Senate. (on the birth of his granddaughter)” — Herbert Hoover Copy Share Image
Why is it easier for some people to believe their ancestors were a clump of mud and a cannibalized body part, than… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
Set your compass to beauty, humor, and grief; stay the course no matter what, and I'll support you with everything I've got. — Chris Jordan Copy Share Image
“Sit up, and no whining." "I don't whine." "Rarely," he agreed. But when you do, you make up for the lack of… — J.D. Robb Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy is a different game all together. You have to improvise on the spot if you feel that the audience isn't… — Johnny Lever Copy Share Image
Sometimes I do readings and people can’t stop laughing, but I’m reading about pretty tragic things. I think Soviet humor is a… — Alina Bronsky Copy Share Image
Today's tragedy in Paris reminds us very viscerally that it's a right that some people are inexplicably forced to die for. So… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“No os lo vais a creer, pero ayer por la noche, a eso de las cuatro de la madrugada, vi en la… — Roberto Bolaño Copy Share Image
“These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks, he… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Want to play hangman? asks Theophile, and I ache to tell him that I have enough on my plate playing quadriplegic. But… — Jean-Dominique Bauby Copy Share Image
“Now why do I feel like Little Red Riding Hood?" Daisy asked. Trav flashed a toothy smile and lunged for her neck.… — Kylie Gilmore Copy Share Image
“Who's Jessie?" "My Yugo" "You have a name for your Yugo? Please don't tell me you're one of those guys who also… — Rachel Cohn Copy Share Image
