“If Jeff wished to pursue the matter he'd have to leave his beer, and I felt intuitively that he would never do… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“The answer to enemies who heal annoyingly fast is always, always decapitation. That is why swords will never go out of style.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Where are we going? I don't know yet. Anyplace is good, so long as there's sausage and bitches.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“[T]he pain was unspeakable, worse than reading the collected works of Edith Wharton.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I do beg your pardon. Let's literally throw up, but figuratively throw down.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“It's not like the Middle Ages, when you had the Church and the aristocracy keeping everything nice and stagnant.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Falling in love is like that: you always feel like a dumbass at some point, even if you know it‘s coming —… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“[...] we are on the payrolls of two dozen different companies as consultants, but we do absolutely nothing for our paychecks, just… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Are you going to kick somebody’s ass? I don’t know. Maybe. Well, I’m not going to worry. I’ve watched you spar with… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Thunder gods don't hide." The Russian shrugged. "I am not like Thor. I have Russian depth of character. And I like to… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“That’s it,” Flanagan said, his thick hands gripping the bar and his eyes wide. “I’m getting back on the wagon and I’m… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“You know how people are always threatenin' to shove this or that up someone's ass, but they never really do it? Well,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“My neighbor raised a shaking index finger to point at the saguaro. "That moving cactus...and the big bug...and you, you spooky bastard.… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“First, we need to get a buttload of nails.” “A buttload? How much is that?” “Uh …” Granuaile rescued me with her superior… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I think this man might actually possess supernatural powers. He makes people lose their minds and I’m sure some of them do… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“No. See, when you throw up you're vomiting, but when you throw down you're starting a fight, as in throwing down the… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I quietly cast camouflage on myself, which is the nearest I can come to invisibility. It binds my pigment to my surroundings,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“My hens all died and my plow is broke My well is dry and my yak just croaked My farm’s all rotted… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Turns out that when you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special "godslayer" term life… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Leif stared at me, utterly still, the way only vampires and pet rocks can manage.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” Oberon said. ” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire." Oberon” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“When you're in the middle of a killing field and the fucking Chooser of the Slain tells you to do something, you… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father’s instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“Hence the reason I encourage you to believe what you wish. The heaven of teh Pastafarians is supposed to have beer volcanoes, which sounds… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
Awesome! I'd just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn't care. We ordered the insanely… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“I thought for the longest time that chicken-fried steak was steak that had been fried by specially trained chickens,” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts. — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“No. See, when you throw up you're vomiting, but when you throw down you're starting a fight, as in throwing down the gauntlet." "Ohhhh,"… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“What sealed the deal for me was that the cloak wouldn't come off without a generous donation of my tears. Those used to be… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“So this means you're spoiling me right?" Can't Help it. You're the best hound ever. Oberon's tail thumped a few times and his mouth… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." ” — kevin hearne Copy Share
![“[T]he pain was unspeakable, worse than reading the collected works of Edith Wharton.” quote by Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/307/kevin-hearne-991_humor_t-he-pain-was-unspeakable-worse-than-rea_353101.jpg)
![“[...] we are on the payrolls of two dozen different companies as consultants, but we do absolutely nothing for our paychecks, just like normal consultants.” quote by Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/10b/kevin-hearne-991_humor_we-are-on-the-payrolls-of-two-dozen-diff_1784290.jpg)
