“He didn’t spend time on niceties like saying hello. He answered the phone with, “Have you changed your mind about Thor?” “Um… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“They may have been victims at one time, but what you have to focus on is what they are now.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I come to dungeon for good time—which maybe is problem, I admit—but I get bad time instead.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“In the pattern of the curdling cheese she divined the future, the complex patterns revealing truth to her far more clearly than… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I thought for the longest time that chicken-fried steak was steak that had been fried by specially trained chickens,” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“The garden of sarcasm is watered with impatience, and mine chose that moment to bloom.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“But there was no going back to that idyllic time when only one god wanted to kill me.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“...Brain death didn't allow one time to heal, and the brain was the warehouse for the spirit. Punch a hole in that… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Are you going to kick somebody’s ass? I don’t know. Maybe. Well, I’m not going to worry. I’ve watched you spar with… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“But in doing so—moving forward, in Greta’s mind—he’s still dealing with the past. It’s always strung out behind us, innit, attached to… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“A man’s supposed to shit himself after he dies, son, not before. Try to remember that, lad, so that when your time… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Other times escape our notice, slipping by while we are preoccupied, and we do not appreciate their enormity until it’s too late… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
I can't spend too much time in the forests because I invariably leave traces-ridiculously happy trees, basically, since I'm the last Druid… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“He could focus my attention on how perfectly sublime life can be at times. Such moments are ephemeral, and without his guidance… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“What are you so pleased about?" "I only drink a little at a time, like half a cup ever four or five… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“There were times when I was blown away by the virgin beauty of the land. Kind of like that guy who lost… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Hopefully next time I won't be recovering from an assassination attempt, and then I'll do better.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I hope that if I ever travel two thousand years into the future, there will still be bacon.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“We saw Leif to the door and wished him farewell. Time to hit the hay for the last time in this old… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“If only someone else hadn’t done that. I hoped she would learn sooner, rather than later, that you can’t unchoose anyone’s choices,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“My first time in Madagascar was awesome because lemurs are kind of funny; they throw fruit at the back of your head… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Atticus makes gigantic mistakes at times. But there are also times like this one when he makes of his life a poem… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father’s instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“Hence the reason I encourage you to believe what you wish. The heaven of teh Pastafarians is supposed to have beer volcanoes, which sounds… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
Awesome! I'd just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn't care. We ordered the insanely… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“I thought for the longest time that chicken-fried steak was steak that had been fried by specially trained chickens,” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts. — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“No. See, when you throw up you're vomiting, but when you throw down you're starting a fight, as in throwing down the gauntlet." "Ohhhh,"… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“What sealed the deal for me was that the cloak wouldn't come off without a generous donation of my tears. Those used to be… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“So this means you're spoiling me right?" Can't Help it. You're the best hound ever. Oberon's tail thumped a few times and his mouth… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." ” — kevin hearne Copy Share
