Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check... is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I ain't shootin' nobody. So call me a faggot! When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs, thank you! — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central? — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Guys play characters that won't grow up and something catastrophic happens and they have to grow up to save the day -… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
All you crazy white people "I'm American!", all you did was come out of your mother's pussy on American soil. That's it.… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
And even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you don't gotta go to no doctor to get it taken out,… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America... but whatever you decide… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I don't believe I can offend you in a comedy club. I don't believe I can offend you in a concert. A… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. — Chris Rock Copy Share
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what… — Chris Rock Copy Share
Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to… — Chris Rock Copy Share
You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best… — Chris Rock Copy Share
You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched. — Chris Rock Copy Share
There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking… — Chris Rock Copy Share
My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it, but my… — Chris Rock Copy Share
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people… — Chris Rock Copy Share
I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were… — Chris Rock Copy Share
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, "I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house!" A woman… — Chris Rock Copy Share
You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face. — Chris Rock Copy Share
All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love… — Chris Rock Copy Share
