If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy,… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I've been away from my two daughters at a very important time in their life.'I have missed most of Girl Scout cookie… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I'm looking forward to not being tired around my child. My father was tired a lot. I want to play ball with… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
My relationship with my daughter is gonna affect her relationship with men for the rest of her life... Sometimes I'm walking with… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I'm old enough to remember when there were no black quarterbacks - there were no blacks on TV. I hope my son… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I've told Michael Jackson jokes. If you got really technical, you could say those are jokes about child molestation. You could, if… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. — Chris Rock Copy Share
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what… — Chris Rock Copy Share
Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to… — Chris Rock Copy Share
You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best… — Chris Rock Copy Share
You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched. — Chris Rock Copy Share
There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking… — Chris Rock Copy Share
My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it, but my… — Chris Rock Copy Share
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people… — Chris Rock Copy Share
I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were… — Chris Rock Copy Share
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, "I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house!" A woman… — Chris Rock Copy Share
You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face. — Chris Rock Copy Share
All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love… — Chris Rock Copy Share
