Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I love seeing black people do normal things, being judged as normal people. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations.… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money. They don't have insurance.… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I realized with Broadway everything written for black people is usually written in the past, and I'm kind of a contemporary guy.… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a laugh. That you can… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Are they real fires? Or are people just reacting to something? Just because there’s an alarm going doesn’t mean it’s a fire.… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I hate when people go on TV and tell you how hard it is to do animation … No, UPS is hard… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
See Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
We treat racism in this country like it's a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. Oh, that… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time! — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. — Chris Rock Copy Share
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what… — Chris Rock Copy Share
Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to… — Chris Rock Copy Share
You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best… — Chris Rock Copy Share
You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched. — Chris Rock Copy Share
There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking… — Chris Rock Copy Share
My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it, but my… — Chris Rock Copy Share
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people… — Chris Rock Copy Share
I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were… — Chris Rock Copy Share
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, "I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house!" A woman… — Chris Rock Copy Share
You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face. — Chris Rock Copy Share
All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love… — Chris Rock Copy Share
