My job is to take what I think is funny and to make other people think it's funny, too. — Harry Shearer Copy Share Image
He is no clown that drives the plow, but he that doth clownish things. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket? — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Its true my mum told me to do it once and I actually went to bed haha ;P — Witches_be_like Copy Share Image
We are in danger of being stern where God is tender, and of being tender where God is stern. — Oswald Chambers Copy Share Image
I think jokes on colour or body shaming shouldn't be made. It's not funny to crack such jokes. — Radhika Apte Copy Share Image
“You watch pro ball and those guys spend so much time with their hands on each other's rear ends, you'd think they… — Catherine Gilbert Murdock Copy Share Image
And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when… — Drew Brees Copy Share Image
It's funny how we can remember the lyrics to hundreds of songs, but can't remember anything when we study for a test. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is amazing how much more amazing sleep is in the morning. You wake up and you're like, "I stayed up to… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“You've got the fountain of youth hidden in your pants." "What the fuck does that even mean?" Hook demanded, then held up… — S.E. Jakes Copy Share Image
Looking for soulmate. Description: Smart, funny, good-looking & loves to battle with lightsaber swords while making sound effects. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
In general, watching children's television is a dark and surreal descent into madness where the characters on the screen talk directly to… — John Green Copy Share Image
Normally, it's one or the other - a pretty, straight woman or a more charactery woman who isn't supposed to be attractive.… — Becki Newton Copy Share Image
