Funny Quotes · Page 74

My work is loving the world.

— Mary Oliver

I would just love to have gone and stood in the Kop.

— Kenny Dalglish

“Joyi Kisanmurari ni smartness?”

— Jay Vasavada

I can literally hear you getting fatter.

— Cody Rhodes

You'll see more with your eyes closed.

— Lulu

This Coke tastes weird without Whiskey.

— Green Monk

The best things can't be told,

— Heinrich Zimmer

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.

— Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

— Woody Allen

Listen, smile, agree, then do whatever you were going to do anyway.

— Robert Downey, Jr

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

— Anonymous

Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everybody can see it but only you can feel the warmth..

— Anonymous

Even the pluckiest among us has but seldom the courage of what he really knows.

— Friedrich Nietzsche

We must lose what we think we know so that we can come to see what we least expect.

— Christopher Kimball

Where all pretend to be thinking alike, it's likely that no one is thinking at all.

— Edward Abbey

There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices.

— Tim Heidecker

The funny thing about cinema is, usually when they do a story that has African Americans in it, there always has to…

— Jim Brown

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Darn! Seven. Not…

— Mitch Hedberg

A lot of people think that Jesus is coming back. That's fine, it's your right. But you know, I live in New…

— Marc Maron

I learned that you can be powerful and funny at the same time, and you don't have to be liked. I think…

— Michelle Buteau

I'm the ultimate studier of comedy. I grew up in a very funny household. My dad is the king of one-liners; my…

— Susan Kelechi Watson

I think the most horrible name for a crime has to be manslaughter. ... "I slaughtered a man! Just like a pig!…

— Brian Regan

“If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God…

— Shannon L. Alder

When you grow up with siblings, you can be like, 'Isn't this weird? Isn't this funny? Do we agree on this, or…

— Sam Richardson

Be ruthless about protecting writing days.

— J. K. Rowling

How much pleasure can you stand?

— Richard Bandler

As the family goes, so goes society.

— Jean Charest

Listen with your gut, not your head.

— Sanford Meisner

Entrepreneurialism is supposed to be fun!

— Lori Greiner

If you are an asshole, we can be best Friends.

— Nikhil Saluja

There is no such thing as an unsolvable problem.

— Sergei Korolev

What I like doing best is Nothing.

— A. A. Milne

It is to live that requires courage, not to die…

— Jean Plaidy

I miss you like Hillary misses votes.

— Anonymous

Vaster is Man than his works.

— Rockwell Kent

The unbeliever knows his Koran best.

— Omar Khayyam

What is not ex-pressed is de-pressed.

— Mark Nepo

The artist is always beginning.

— Ezra Pound

[P]ride is something only folk with money can afford.

— Tamora Pierce

I only bleed when I'm all alone

— Myles Kennedy