To do something funny, you have to have experienced it in real life and digested it in a way that amuses you. — Ted Danson Copy Share Image
If it is not the fashion now, it will be later because I wear it. — Ernst Hanfstaengl Copy Share Image
In the '80s, to get a contemporary Scot who was smart, sexy and funny was very unusual. — Denis Lawson Copy Share Image
Yeah forgiving someone is easy but being able to trust them again is a totally different story. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Mentally I am ready for Christmas. Financially I am not ready for Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer,… — Scott Aukerman Copy Share Image
I was watching MTV and there were girls dancing in suspended cages. That would be an ambivalent situation: "I'm trapped! ...but enjoying… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
It's funny that when people reach a certain age, such as after graduating college, they assume it's time to go out and… — Steve Pavlina Copy Share Image
“you think you've never been wrong before?"-alex "sure i have why just last week I bought bobbi brown sandwash petal lip gloss… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
It was quite a macho world I grew up in, but it was always cheeky and funny, and the women were the… — Lynne Ramsay Copy Share Image
I started writing 'Southern Baptist Sissies' right after I had written the screenplay for 'Sordid Lives', so that's when I started on… — Del Shores Copy Share Image
I rarely sit down to write something. I usually have an experience and relate it to somebody and go, 'There I connected… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Every man is a creature of the age in which he lives; very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas… — Voltaire Copy Share Image
Some people bring happiness wherever they go; you bring happiness whenever you go. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's not that it's so good with money, but that it's so bad without it. — George Sanders Copy Share Image
NOW is saying that in order to be a woman, you've got to be a lesbian. — Pat Roberts Copy Share Image
Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
More content will be created today than existed in entirety before 2003. — Steve Rubel Copy Share Image
I don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs, I only have one small problem, I lie. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A man who is an enemy of the bride doesn't speak well of the wedding. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Follow your dreams ...except that one where you're naked in Neighbor's room! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You don’t need to be a completely complete human right now … That’s what makes you human. — Tavi Gevinson Copy Share Image
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse'. — Francois Morency Copy Share Image
“For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient.” — Elizabeth Inchbald Copy Share Image
Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It (the Bible) has never bowed its head before the discoveries of science. — Billy Graham Copy Share Image
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're better off being The Beatles than The Monkees, as a startup... — Ben Horowitz Copy Share Image
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
