There's something bizarrely funny about a guy who doesn't realise he's, in essence, a dog chasing his own tail. — Brad Anderson Copy Share Image
One never goes further than when they do not know where they are going. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid… — Mae West Copy Share Image
'Copper' is my first period piece. It's funny because I've been doing a lot of episodes of 'Elementary' with Johnny Lee Miller… — Ato Essandoh Copy Share Image
Hey if you would like the fun of your life to begin go like Keep Laughing trust me they would make you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He won’t be as funny as a mountain—he’ll be hill-arious. He is my clone, and I hope he kills me for this… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Thy funniest thing that I could ever think of is, typing is kind of like playing an piano. When you think things… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear radio, Why do you always play the best song right when I have to turn the car off and get out?!… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You’re not mending anything, remember, Sand? The hedge.” He paused and shook his head at himself. “And Perrotte’s away for a few… — Merrie Haskell Copy Share Image
Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if… — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
Love is within us. It cannot be destroyed, but can only be hidden — Marianne Williamson Copy Share Image
I see God in the instruments and mechanisms that work reliably. — R. Buckminster Fuller Copy Share Image
A friend will call you an idiot, but a best friend will not only call you one, but act like one with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't evaluate yourself, don't evaluate others. Just keep going after it. — Mike Bickle Copy Share Image
Math jokes arent funny, nothing about math is funny, math is a sin(e). — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
Whenever you are alone, remind yourself that God has sent everyone else away so that there is only you and Him. — Rumi Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your gum randomly falls out your mouth when you're talking to someone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Would you ever cheat in relationship? I can't get one girl, how the hell do you expect me to get two — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I no longer believe that just about everything is funny, if viewed from the proper angle. — Tom Perrotta Copy Share Image
My responsibility to God is to live. That's the gift he gave me. What I do with it is up to me. — Mary J. Blige Copy Share Image
Dear Facebook, Pretty Soon, They'll All Abandon You, Too. Sincerely, MySpace — Toni Watson Copy Share Image
Coding is a privilege, but that privilege is not available to most Americans. — Ali Partovi Copy Share Image
PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
If your job title is head receiver, you know you're doing something right. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As life tends to become more and more distracting, let us firmly hold on to books. — A. Edward Newton Copy Share Image
If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final. — Cyndi Lauper Copy Share Image
Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
